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A343

Andover to: Newbury

I am blessed that this is the road I get to travel to work on every day. OK, most of the time I wimp-out and take the car, but on the bike, it puts a smile on my face. Here it is. As you leave Andover under Enham Arch you are tempted by a short stretch of dual carriageway interspersed with a couple of fast clearview roundabouts - get the tyres warmed up here. Give it a quick blast on the short stretch of open road between Andover and Enham, but watch out 'cos this road holds flood water for days after rain. Steady through Enham and don't be tempted to wind-it up too quickly 'cos the first right hander is tight. Now you can go. Into the dip and then into the forrest stretch (some nice twisties - watch out for pheasents and deer) before emerging high above Hurstbourne.

If the conditions are right and you are on the road early in the morning, you may now be given a real treat as you aften get a cloud inversion in the Valley below. It looks stunning as you descend from clear skies into mist. The drop into Hurstbourne is quite steep, over the bridge, lovely double-s (slow though and steady for villagers). As you come out of the village you get a clear view up the hill - wind it back here and burn-off the slowbies. Fast right hander at the top and then power on down the straight past Essebourne Manor. The next bit I find tricky. A sweeping downhill righ-hander through the forrest, followed by a moderatley tight lefty at the bottom. I don't know if its a slight unfavourable camber, or 'cos I've seen two many cars ploughing fields here, but that combo plays on my mind and I always tighten-up! Now a couple of fast bends and up and downy bits (good stuff) before a long up-hill straight through the trees (this looks stunning coming the other way). At the top, another combo, this time a lefty, followed by a down-hill right and then a fast left, before hitting the straight past the Yew Tree. Steady thro' Highclere, under the A34 and onwards into Newbury.

If you do this in reverse, watch out for speed-traps: (i) as you come out of Highclere and (ii) at the bottom of the hill as you enter Hurstbourne. Have fun. About 15 miles of it.


B3157

Weymouth to: Bridport

Cannot believe this isn't here already! 17 miles, 3 villages, no cameras, occaisional plod. The local boys do it in ~ 12 minutes. Leave Weymouth via Chickerell, long straight ~140 (abought 1/2 mile which IS a long straight on this road!!) dropping past the 'Knights in the Bottom' pub (crap but the patrons still like to pull out in front of you) sharp 70mph right at the top of the hill - watch out for campers pulling out of Bagwell Farm! A mile or so of undulating road under trees before a blind summit (about 120mph is just right if I recall) that goes slightly left as you land! Open 140mph+ road to Portesham with a slight jump if you hit it fast enough. The KingsArms is a fairly good pub to sit and listen to everyone else doing it while you debug your visor with a pint! There's a 90 degree left at the exit from the vilage, mind your head on the corner of the cottage! A 90mph off-camber right leads to another airborne moment on your way through to the next village. Watch out for horses as you approach the village of Abbottsbury. The road through this village is very narrow so if you've got a loud pipe, no point in keeping it to yourself HeHe!! A very long steep twisting climb out of the village (1st gear in a full car!) onto the high ground watchout for the muppets looking at the view on the way up to the high ground and for the next few miles!(actually worth stopping for a look once you've done this road 50 or 60 times!) There are several opportunities to get airborne before the long twisting descent into Burton Bradstock - Beware of the third in a series of humps, ifyou get it wrong it'll dump you on the bonnet of the oncoming car - it has happened sadly. There are several hidden exits on the long straight down past Cogden Beach, this is muppet country so keep the brakes covered, they all have 30 mph brains which can't compute bikes closing @ 140+. Sharp 90 mph right dropping down into the next village. Ease down into Burton Bradstock - there's a right turn where camper vans delight in taking three or four goes at, couple of opportunities for kneedown on the entry and exit from this village. Nail it out of the village watch out for the chicane in the midle, car drivers like to play 'after you, no after you' here! Two good corners here, nail it soon as your clear of the chicane and bang theright knee down as you exit the village loadsa room to set-up for the left although don't run wide, the oncoming loves to cut the corner! Be wary as you crest the hill past Freshwater (more bleedin' holiday maker Kamikaze's turning right in front of you)ease off and take the first left into West Bay. Several kiosks around the harbour all selling the usual chips 'n tea. I can't guarantee that anything hasn't changed on this route, lived there for 18 years and only moved away 2 years ago. It's the only thing I miss about Dorset!! Be very wary of the local Plod in and around Bridport - it's sticksville and they've got cock all else to do but give bikers a hard time - particularly Dougie Miners if he's still around - total Nob! Same goes for Dick Ferris in Weymouth - that bastard would nick his own granny!


A832/890

Garve to: Lochcarron

Built with money from the EU to allow the fish lorries to get up and down easier, this is a wonderful full-throttle or gentle cruising road. Starting 1km north of Garve, the A832 gets you warmed up for the main course after the roundabout at Achnasheen. The A890 is beautifully surfaced, sweeping full throttle curves, no trees, great scenery past Fionn Beinn, Moruisg and others. The only hazards are the ubiquitous woolly bollards as our Shetland friend names them and deer crossing. No police, no cameras but plenty of action. The last few miles are single track to allow your pulse to slow down. Can be combined with the Garve-Ullapool road mentioned above for a great day run.


ALL

The bottom of Shetland to: The top of the island

Nice. No trees, and almost zero traffic. After a recent grant by the RAF, ALL the main roads have been resurfaced to billiard table standard. 2 police cars on all three islands. No cameras. No trees, so massive road visibility. Insanely fast and smooth ! Watch out for the wooly bollards who like to sit on or beside the road. Also, if you crash, don't expect recovery for hours. Some bends are on top of hills and can be off camber. Lots of stones on recent resurfaced roads. If you can afford the ferry, one of the UK's best kept secrets. It's just a pity the roads aren't longer (60 miles over three islands)...


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